Posts filed under '向婷，About Me'
失眠的夜總是特別長。
我索性仔細聆聽起香菇韜的打呼聲，順便為他聽診一下。「嗯……有鼻水聲、喉嚨有痰，大概明早會喉嚨痛……那是不是要強迫他滴幾滴易媽媽推薦的蜂膠在喉嚨，增強抵抗力一下？]想著想著，覺得自己大概是全西雅圖此時此刻最無聊的老婆。 「嗯……iPod Shuffle 可能可以幫上點忙，可是不知道香菇韜把它放到哪了。乾脆起床看電視好了。」搖頭晃腦地走到樓下把電視打開，心想無聊的購物頻道應該最具催眠作用。然而，看著看著，我的眼睛睜得越來越大，心裡越來越難受，最後還因為廣告，答應每個月從口袋掏出9塊錢。
不過每個月九塊錢，大概是我目前生活花費中最有意義的一項支出。 ABC, Abandoned Baby Center, 照顧世界上被遺棄兩歲以下的孤兒。這些孤兒大部分是貧窮家庭的小孩，有些是來自愛滋家庭，感染愛滋。這些寶寶出生就被遺棄在醫院、公共場所，甚或是荒郊野外受著風吹日曬。他們被人發現時仍堅強著活著，因而進入了ABC 的照料。看到電視裡三個月才七磅的小孩、因為被太陽曬傷留有疤痕的小身體，實在非常不忍。任何一個母親，都能感受到哺育是一種強烈的本能，除非萬不得已，才會讓自己的下一代在接觸這個世界的第一刻那麼的孤獨、無助。
真的該感謝這世界上有人願意接受並照顧這些被遺棄的小孩，我不知道還有什麼比這件事情更偉大。如果誕生是為了飽受摧殘並恐懼地等待死亡，這些小生命就不會奇蹟似地活著。我相信因為ABC的努力，這些被解救的生命，除了延續、更會茁壯與快樂。我們似乎不能救世界上的每一個人，不過一個月9塊錢美金可以為ABC的嬰兒帶來更完整的醫療與實質的幫助。一個月9塊錢，我為Fannie 省下買玩具的錢，幫助其他同年齡沒有爸爸媽媽在身邊的小朋友。
如果你也想幫助ABC，請點文章上方的小朋友圖片。或者是直接到ABC的網頁： http://www.feedthechildren.org/site/PageServer?pagename=abc_homepage
失眠的夜，良夜。
December 21st, 2005
When you are a teacher, people get bored with your constant talking about the kids. But, it is just enjoyable to be so close to these little minds with free imaginations.
“You know what I am drawing? This is a Wild Dog and that is a Not Wild Cat.” I nodded my head when this too-much-alike Jim Carrey boy was putting down three dollar signs above the Not Wild Cat and crossing out the dollar signs with the Wild Dog. It is interesting to see dollar signs on kid’s drawings. I doubted, “Why is there no dollar sign for the Wild Dog?” “The dog is too wild. So, he cannot get the money,” he answered with an exaggerated smile. It seemed like he enjoyed taking the dog’s money away. Even though I still don’t know how the wild kid got the connection between wildness and money making, I pretty like the story he told through the picture.
This kid is wild because of the constant medication influence. He was in and out the Children’s Hospital and of course the school. There are many wild things he does or can get into which are not allowed in school. Screaming is one and smashing himself on the floor is another. Whenever there is some trouble, he either has an exaggerated slow-motion crying or runs away backwards in slow motion. In some way he is a star but he has not too much of the audience since the movie is not a hit in school.
The little star is definitely lonely. He desires for more friends and more understanding of his difference. It is very difficult to portrait an ideal world for children with special needs. It is even harder to truly understand how their minds operate. As a teacher, should we keep telling these kids how they can just be like others? Or, should we or can we stop asking them to be just like others and instead preserve their uniqueness inside them?
Many of the children with special needs I know have the substantial capability to elaborate themselves through art. The creativity I have seen is very unique and incredible. If the education we provide is to help them to be in the main stream, how and when their true abilities can be taken care of? But if these kids cannot even be accepted in the main stream, how can they have a chance to further develop the abilities? The contradiction is discussed in the special education field for years without a real answer. But we all know the ground rule is that taking care of the minds comes before taking care of the abilities.
Maybe the wild kid I know will be a real star like Jim Carrey after certain years. But for now, he probably needs to learn why he can only have a show on a stage but not everywhere.
November 12th, 2005
Driving south on the I-405 in a sunny early morning was enjoyable. It seemed like the Mount Rainer was in my arm with its breathtaking quietness pounding on my heart.
I may be not an adventurer, but I love mountains and used to like climbing them. Being burried in homemaking and childcaring is surely not an excuse for not refreshing myself through the ourdoor challenges. Hence, I had a thought of climbing Mt. Rainer right at the moment when I eyed its beauty.
I talked to Mushroom Tau about the idea and suggested do the training and climb it together when parents can help us take care of Fannie. “Hmm… I don’t think it is a good idea. Even we really want to go, we cannot go together. We have Fannie now. There was a person falling from the moutain recently.” I could feel the hesitance in Tau’s tone. Tau used to love mountain climbing. What’s happened? Well, I almost forgot I am a mother when I was in the excitement. Right, who is gonna take care of Fannie if we both have accidents? Right, who can put Fannie to sleep if I have an accident? Fannie will be a poor girl if she does not have a mommy or daddy. Or, right, when you become a parent, you are not yourself alone anymore.
I remember the first time I went skiing when Fannie was five month old, I was frightened even on the easy blue line. I had that weird feeling about losing myself and Fannie. I fell down again and again like I had never skiied before. I kept thinking what made me so different? Was I weaker, less competitive, or was I just not fully recoverd from the tiredness of being on 24/7 childcare duty? More or less, I knew there was something new about the conern or say responsbility, which was not included in the preparation list for a ski trip before.
I am a mother but I am also a person who has interests and dreams. Most mothers compromise for a balance between keeping the family on track and having their dreams fullfilled. I do too and I can feel the fine line between compromising and excusing ourselves. We love Fannie and the conern will always be there. Yet, it seems to be more important to have a full preparation before doing things than not to do it at all.
It is not luxurious to think about going to a mountain. I just need to make sure I will have a well return for my family.
- photo source from http://www.peakware.com/peaks.html?pk=213-
October 26th, 2005
Don’t know if it is Seattle’s typical gloomy weather.
One is the dirty kitchen towel
Two are the shopping lists now
Three are the books yelling here
Four are the socks everywhere
Five are the dishes unprepared
Six are the whinning mushy pears
Seven are the dreams in the heaven
Eight are the plans waiting to date
Nine come the ambitions saying good night and
Ten shoot the goals never attempted.
October 13th, 2005
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