I am Ting

Little Adventurer

October 21st, 2005

Fannie’s litte feet are stronger and faster day by day. Everywhere she had been to was messy but full of happiness. This is why daddy and mommy think it is ok to let the little monster scribble on the floor and pull out all the clothes in the closet. Beyond infancy, little Fannie knows where she can find surprises and how she can make wonders.

Fannie likes every drawer, box, shelf, and hole in the house. They are like magic boxes to her. ” I saw mommy getting something good to eat from this. Let me try to open it. Hoops! wrong way. Ok, here I go. Ouch, my fingers. They hurt. Wawawa..wawa…wa.. hmm… Mommy is not looking…no fun to be crying. Let me see what’s inside. Wow…Looks like something fun. Let me dump them out one by one, let me shake them, let me……. Mommy is not coming. Keep going. Faster! Faster!”

Fannie’s adventures usually involve crying: Fake crying, attention-getting crying, really-hurt crying, and getting-bored crying. These cryings usually end up with mommy or daddy’s rubbing Fannie’s fingers, head, or knees, pulling Fannie away, saying “no” to Fannie, or letting Fannie go. It is pretty typical for children at Fannie’s age to use crying as a strategy to get what they want. It is an age when children are testing their abilities to manipulate things around them, and seeking the balance between dependence and independence. Fannie is the same. Fannie cries if we don’t let her play whatever she wants to; She also cries if she simply feels unright. Fannie gets mad if we want to help her with things; She also gets mad if we don’t help. (hmm… why does this sound like me?)

As a parent, I start to wonder how I can let Fannie enjoy her adventures but keep her content and safe. How can I find the balance between how I want her to be like and she might want to be like? It is a unique question to every parent and may be also a question our parents had been asking themselves through our childhood. No parent can do a perfect job since parenting is too much about value and philosophy. How can I ask Fannie to agree on everything we do for her? What I can really hope for is Fannie can enjoy the autonomy and be happy and confident.

Looking at Fannie’s bright eyes and funny giggles, the enjoyment of being a parent is obvious. Yet, the responsbility is heavy. Twenty years from now, I still want to see my girl with that shinny eyes and smiles on her face. As happy as she is fascinated by the adventures, I feel fulfilled.

Entry Filed under: 我們的巧晴 Fannie's Stories